The Magic of Becoming
No one ever said you have to be the best of the best to do what makes you happy, feel alive or purposeful. That is your own ego holding you back from doing what you love. I will admit...I want to be considered one of the best yoga teachers someone has ever had; however, it is more important to me to be the best I have the potential to be. Big difference. The latter demands constant work, effort and sincere love of it. Connections, timing and perhaps less than authentic intentions create the first; however, a price is paid. The second approach demands that I welcome change. I cannot always be the same person. There is a magic in becoming someone slightly different in a subtle way. The heart of you stays the same. The skills and knowledge you have to share change. Perspectives change. Aging is mirrored by the four seasons Nature shares. Each full of purpose that graciously hands the baton to the season ready to take over. And, around and around the race goes. Stay in the race long enough and you start to appreciate the turtle's method.
The elegance of age. You've been there; done that and know a bit more what direction to head. You won't (I don't think) ever know it all...and that is a good thing. Actually, a fabulous thing. I love learning more than ever. If I didn't learn something new everyday, no matter how insignificant to another, I'd get bored. Alas, the magic to becoming someone...learning pearls of wisdom/history/facts that resonate with your current purpose. And, no one ever...except you...mandated your purpose to be locked in for a lifetime. Be flexible if desire requests. Magicians have an ability to pull a coin out of your ear or hold the card you personally signed...magic, slight of hand or blend of both? Depends on the perception of the viewer. You. That is the magic.
I practiced yoga for three years before feeling the drive to teach. I took the training and was convinced I could never be a decent teacher. I was scared, couldn't remember a sequence without paper, and kept comparing myself to seasoned comrades. Had I succumbed to the assumption of of self-imposed inadequacy and comparisons to others with years of practice, I would not be writing this memoir for you. Like everything, we start at the beginning and either we keep going or we quit. No in between. Either you are driven to change along the process of learning or you stop at the edge of discomfort. It is an alchemy of everything and everyone you exchanged a baton with in your personal race of becoming.
I suggest to keep moving forward. The novelty of the past is nostalgic...can make you smile...make you feel gratitude; however, it locks you in a time period that no longer exists. I see books my dear grandmother used to read to me as a young girl and it warms my heart. I wanted to buy one I found, but I didn't. Why? Because the glimpse of love shared in the past pales in comparison to the memories my eyes remembered. The touch of her hand can't be replaced. Her voice can't be duplicated. Her intention of reading it to me cannot ever be purchased at any price. She is physically gone; but, her magic of being herself is in me forever.
My grandmother did not practice yoga; but, she practiced being someone who mattered. The magic of becoming someone is loving others in just the way they need. It takes time, experience and personal risks. But, once you know you're someone to someone else...the true magic begins. Memorable is love that moves your mind; timeless is the love that engraves your heart.